Tribute - the greatest song in the world...

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKyzyjfyuPU

So how can I describe to you all perhaps the funniest night of my life, yes that’s right the funniest night of my life. I should have known it would involve Cheap Skate (one of the funniest people I know).

I’ll set the scene, it was Monday night in Austin. We went the training with Cheapie and then decided we would go to karaoke. Last time I went to karaoke with Cheapie we were dogged and some lame dude STOLE our song, so I was on a mission to set things right.

The venue was a bar called Beerland in the heart of Austin and we walked in and the place was semi-deserted, there were about 15 people there. This is the kind of set-up I like, it means you get a go and…more than one. Cheapie turned to me and was a little apologetic, she said ‘so Bam…its kinda quiet tonight…Monday and all’ BUT we all knew it was perfect. It was like we had busted into someone’s private party…we learned later that almost everyone knew everyone else, so in a way we had.

It was like we were in an American movie. The guys running it had this insane computer set up and were sitting to the left of the stage. One guy, bearded, not too tall – John was on the mic, introducing his offsider Bobby D was a classic American ‘geek’. Bobby was not worthy of a mic and would throw in comments using a hand held mini megaphone, on his T-shirt was an image of a tardis and a delorian – you do the math. It took us a while to realize that these were friends of Cheapie’s and that she was plying them with drinks…at which time our songs would magically be next!** Other then the 5 CRDL ladies representing and Cheapie there was a crowd of bearded chaps – several with long hair. We learned quickly they all 8 of them had been fired that day by the record store they worked at – they were all the raddest singers and clearly karaoke experts.

Highlights (there were SO many): 2 of the dudes got up and sang Under Pressure by David Bowie – while one sang Bowie the other rapped Vanilla Ice, it was inspired! A guy called Carson sang Drops of Jupiter in a magnificent Led Zeppelin 70s rock style, unforgettable.

Cheapie and I duet-ed Sweet Child of Mine (the song we were robbed of many years ago). I knew things were going to get good when I said ‘Cheapie, which part do you want to sing? First verse? Second??’ and she replied ‘I’ll do anything’ SWEET. She busted out the worm many time that night starting with backup dancing for our song.

Dr Hell surprised us all and got up on stage for the first time ever in this context and belted out Common People…we have to get her to do it again, she was ace.

Ah, another experience on this trip that I will treasure. These ladies we share a game of derby with, sweat with on the track, become so dear, watching everyone sing, dance and get a bit silly took me back to high school and those early years of uni, when you laugh so hard you have to hold your sides and you can’t believe what you have found yourself in the middle of…oh roller derby.

Xx

Bam

**Here in the US it is fee for service. In this instance we bribed to jump the cue, in another bar we visited a few nights before you could ride a mechanical bull for $5 BUT the bigger the tip the ‘better they would make you look’. Hrm….

Puetas vs Hellcats

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsDpznl8eIs (this was the Hellcats roll out song...sweet)

Realizing that we would be in Texas for a banked track derby was a dream come true...actually seeing the game exceeded all dreams and expectations. It was wild. The Hellcats dominated the game from the start, star jammer Curly Suicide was MAGNIFICENT and her team was so efficient at assisting her through the pack they were awesome.

Banked track derby is quite different to flat track...Smarty picked us up to take us to the bout and in the car she said 'So, ya'll know that the game you are about to see isn't anything like the games you've watched back home', we all nodded eagerly. We all know about the penalty wheel, the arm wrestles and pillow fighting but knowing isn't the same as seeing it in action.

Earlier in the day we all headed over to see the track being set up, it was quite a production - whole lotta tough girls with hammers and power drills. We looked on in awe.

In terms of things derby the game was followed up with us skating a training session with the Hellcats on Monday night. The league has a warehouse with a permanently set up track. It was stifling - it is hitting about 40 degrees of a day here and is pretty humid. Even at 6.30pm everything sticks. Texas skater and previous CRDL training guest legend Cheap Skate took us to training. I had forgotten to take my mouthguard (sorry Mum) so decided my training may be limited but couldn't wait to get on the track. Cheapie asked 'Do what you are comfortable with Bam...is there something in particular you are worried about'. My response 'um, well flying off the track and loosing some teeth' to which Cheapie responded with 'don't worry, that never happens, skaters don't just go flying off the track'. Basically first drill, skater hit the railing and then the floor and then...OUT SHE WENT! Cheapie looked at me with one of her well known grins 'Seriously, that never happens'. We went from the drill into scrimmage, it was SWEET. Skating a banked track which a bunch of Americans is completely different, from the sound of wheels on the boards to the relentless dialogue (often monologue) from the skaters.

Oh, what fun.

xx

Bam

Dear CRDL,

Can we buy a banked track please please please please please???

Yours in anticipation,

Bambi

The bout before the punters arrived

Ova and Bam on the banked track

A real bonafide TXRD arm-wrestling table!!! (it was in the centre of the track at the training venue, HAHAHHAHA!)

Ghosts of posts past

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypP8sMHo74Y

So here in Austin (from Tombstone we basically just fanged it to Texas) we managed to score some sweet sweet accommodation in the heart of the city. We had to spend a ton of slightly stressful hours online to find something for 5 people. In the end we found a 'condo' on 6th street, which the landlord explained is in the 'entertainment precinct'. SO we thought 'oh yeah! Near pubs and restaurants etc, sweet!' Well we were right...kinda.

In Austin we have learned that 6th street is mini-Ibiza. I don't want to sound like a nanna BUT THANK GOD there is a 2am curfew! The bar downstairs pumps out the loudest music until 2am while drunk 20 somethings stumble up and down the street...which is CLOSED OFF EVERY NIGHT!!! I have pretty much heard all of the songs I have posted...what a selection.

xx

Bam

The camera lady: say cheeez!

SO most often than not the person behind the camera is Sugar...I think all of the images posted so far are hers...except when I have stoled her camera to take photos of her :)

So here are a few of pics that are just too good not to post...the things that tend to give us the most amusement (other than my squirrel impersonations) are wacky signs about guns or keeping your hands clean (which is law in some states) and the size of the serves of food SO first the food...- we have had an AWESOME run with food, and I mean AWESOME!

Melicious and a pizza for one...

My first serve of fried chicken!

Ova and a few too many burgers:

Hell - nacho woman

A Texan BBQ pit...oh yeah...

Flagstaff to Tombstone

So I last reported on the Grand Canyon. Yet again we have lived half a lifetime since then! After the Grand Canyon we made our way to a place called Sedona, Ova and I had googled skateparks there and found this: http://pvgrind.com/parks.php?id=6 so SWEET. We were only an hour or so from Sedona so decided to go for a morning skate on Tuesday. The aim for the day was to make it to the classic wild west frontier town Tombstone...this would be quite a drive.

SO this is what Sedona looked like:

Check out Ova doing her thang...

King Cam skated herself silly...

Hell got particularly excited at Sedona as we found a tarantula in the toilets at the skatepark. The car ride post this discovery involved a medium length science lesson on the critter from Hell.

We made our way through Arizona - south passing through Phoenix and through forests of cacti which were breathtaking. And then...

Listen: http: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFro05ieV5c

Tombstone Arizona, so hot, so mean. I love the famous words of Doc Holliday 'I’ve got two guns…one for each of ya.' What would you do in Tombstone at the ‘Tombstone Bordello B&B’ on a Tuesday night? Watch the movie ‘Tombstone’! When we rolled into town it was bout 8.30 pm and it was still so hot. We had called the owner (an English woman called Lynda) and booked some rooms at the Bordello from the road...we didn't really know what we were going to get for our money. As we drove around town looking for the B&B we knew we were most likely in for a treat. A dim red light barely lit the front porch, I looked over at Ova as she muttered 'awesome' and we all drank in the eerie sight...

In daylight it looked like this:

The building was 1 of about 3 bordellos in Tombstone, constructed in 1881 and was owned by 'Big Nose Kate' the madam and partner of Doc Holliday. Seeing as we were in Tombstone we decided to get educated on the Wild West - basically Tombstone was home of Wyatt Earp and his brothers and is the location of the gunfight at the OK Corral. If you have ever seen a Western there is a good chance it had some relationship to Tombstone. The town itself is a little cheesy...but also a regular functioning small town. We did see the WORST reenacted historical scenes EVER but it was entertaining to say the least. Being the ladies that were are Ova, Sugar and I were even inspired to frock up for a souvenir (Cam was enjoying the sun around town and Hell was off petting reptiles...what you gonna do?)

Nothin' like antique guns and ladies...

xx

Bam

Bonus round: 10 points for whoever can tell me which CRDL skater realised she had left her undies on whilst showering in Vegas AND initially believed the 'Outlet' malls they have here were specifically for selling electric components such as extension cords and double adaptors...hrm...(we have had a lot of car time...ok!)

Austin

Holy shitballs folks. Last night we saw our first banked track game in the flesh. In the words of Dee Nature 'wo'...I'll catch you all up tonight. Today Cheap Skate is taking us 'tubing' a 'must' if you are in Texas.

xx

Bam

Belly - YES I will put more photos up, anything in particular you want to see??

Sunset at the GC

Come Monday morning it was time to leave Vegas, while I have enjoyed it, its time to hit the road. Melicious has left us for San Francisco to continue her American vacation with her partner while Ova, Sugar, Hell, Cam and I started the trek to Texas. Fair-as and his bro were ahead of us in the van, we’ll see them somewhere along the way…somewhere.

Leaving Las Vegas involved the welcome sign...Sugar made us ok?!

We began with a long day of driving and sightseeing. From Vegas we drove over the Hoover Dam, what a monument to modern engineering. All I could think about was how Megatron was under there somewhere…hrm… Anyway, from there to the Grand Canyon. Look basically I’m not going to even try to relay the awe inspiring visions we observed. We chugged along the southern rim of the canyon, traveling East and stopping at almost all of the viewing points to find ourselves at sunset at the ‘Desert View’ lookout. Check out the pics…

Sugar contemplating the months and years to come with her Sugar Baby…

I also know how to contemplate…

A rare Dr Hell in her natural habitat

On what feels like the edge of the world we laughed at my impersonations of the local wildlife and took wacky photos of each other (particularly our feet) but I’m sure the others marveled as I did that something as crazy as a game on rollerskates could mean that we end up here…

Roller con and all its glory

How do I sum up for you all the 5 days of Rollercon. There were some real disappointments and some absolute highlights. The classes I attended were great but it was a shit-fight to get into them.

CRDL, I have notes, I will be writing them up BUT I’m pleased to report there was not much new, I noted some new ways to teach things and switching the focus of drills we already do. This is exciting, it seems that CRDL’s stream of visiting trainers such as Smarty Pants and research of our skaters and trainers have really kept us up to date on training and drills – there is and always will be room for improvement but, we have done good. The real difference I noticed was intensity. Dr Hell and I both played in a challenge bout - ‘Team America’ vs the Australian ‘Mortal Wombats’. Safe to say they slaughtered us. I don’t think any of the Aussie jammers made it through the pack for about the first 5 jams, it was insane. These Americanos were as tough as they come, I’ve never been hit so hard, so many times over and over and over again. THANK GOD there was a skatepark to visit after the game! The bout was an awesome experience, nothing like a good thrashing to make one feel like you still have a lifetime of learning ahead.

Suffice to say by Sunday we were all run ragged by lines, shuttles, skating, 40+ heat (did I tell you guys how hot it is here??). King Cam managed to get into a phenomenal amount of classes - she did some pretty hard work, some early mornings and significant line sitting!

Rollercon has been quite an experience. I think if you come to Rollercon looking for hard core training, you won’t get it. Yes there have been some great classes and good tidbits but the classes were often at capacity of 75 or 80 skaters making it hard to hear and participate at times. Socially Rollercon is a hoot, rollergirls from here to sundry all reveling in a very ‘derby’ culture. Great for the derby network and not so good for the communal liver for some…

Some images from Vegas...

Fair-as' van

Ova's mad pickle - I shit you not it was the size of a small child's arm

Rollercon

Also in Vegas...we made Sugar get a motorized cart when we visited Wall Mart (I would have photos but Melicious has them). We met a really nice cabbie...pretty sure he was on crack, I also took time to explain to some American friends the pros and cons of my favourite cuss word KNOBEND, the pronunciation guide (in Australian is) NOBBEENDE.

Much love,

xx

Bambino

PS. Scottie, I can accept that the car in the last post was not a Trans Am BUT it was close, look at the paint job...who ever heard of a Camaro 3rd generation anyway?? Platforms? What are you talking about? We'll settle this when I get back.

Oh yeah...almost forgot to add. So Sugar is one of the slower moving members of the crew, which is basically due to being about 5 months pregnant. Anyway as Trans Am man was seen exiting the pub Sugar moved at such a speed all I saw was the tail of her skirt flick around the door frame...I thought she must have been going outside to throw up or something BUT NO! She wanted the ultimate image...one we will all carry with us from this day...cue music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swzh0ngMNJo

What you have all been waiting for...PHOTOS!

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqDjMZKf-wg

Here we have Melicious, Ova and Bambi...we were looking for Hell who was MIA at the Freakshow...

Sugar and Melicious enjoying some

EXCEPTIONAL italian fare, oh yeah.

Dr Hell managed to find Kermit

on the walk of fame.

Ova and Melicious at Madame Toussard's

Ok so once we hit Vegas things started getting wacky...

We saw this guy in a pub after seeing the Trans Am in the car park, put two and two together and look what we got!

Me getting ready to sit into an insane bowl!

More to come.

xx

Bam

Rollercon Day 1

As freshies in the world of roller derby it is fabulous to have a CRDL presence at Rollercon. What I am pleased as punch to say is that I don't think we need to feel too fresh as a league...we are pretty stinky actually. There are some amazing skaters and teams here at Rollercon - and I mean amazing - but today made me think, 'hang on, our fingers are on a strong throbbing derby pulse'. There were 2 sessions I wanted in on today, Know your skill level with Ivana S. Pankin and Drop a Bitch with Razorslut. Basically with sessions you don't sign up, you have to line up to get into the session and you get turned down if they reach the limit for the class - different trainers decide what their max capacity is. So I got into Ivana's class no worries but was one of about 50 turned down for Razorslut. I'm hoping this doesn't continue BUT when you sell, I dunno, um 1500 tickets but can only accommodate 150 skaters in 2 concurrent sessions of 75 then you might have a little problemo on your hands.
Today's highlight for me was session 1 of the 'unofficial'...'not covered by insurance' Skatepark Tour, led by a rollerskating vert legend Jay, it was rad. There are a heap of challenge bout and evening partying but my heart is already owned by the Skatepark tour. Jay, rad skater dude, and his plans of Vegas skatepark domination has/is exceeding all of my expectations.
Dr Hell is volunteering her but off as a bout medic, she is a goodun, she's doing it as well as sessions - 20 hours I think is her roster...WOW. I think she will be the most exhausted by Sunday.
Did I tell ya'll it's 40 degrees everyday??
xx
Bam

Joshua Trees

Ok, I need to catch you all up.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzkvWWMacyY

The arid landscape where California meets Nevada is punctuated with Joshua Trees, the flats end with enormous mountains which in winter are covered in snow...impressive. So much here is big and I know I am going getting the slightest taste but the majesty of the Californian mountains beginning at Pasadena, WOW.
The trip from LA was so smooth, guided by Ova and steered by yours truly (ok, Hell was also backing up with some google maps) but we glided from freeway to freeway to find ourselves amidst the Joshua Trees. Interestingly we discovered our hire van had 14 cup holders, considering it was a 6 seater we felt it was a little excessive but you just never know how many big gulps your gonna need on the road. It was these things we considered as we hit Las Vegas...(listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-qN6TCY85c) Dang guys it is hot out here...I'm talkin about 40 degrees at noon. So hot, so dry, reminds me of Christmas time in Mildura.
The phenomenon of Vegas appeared like you all have told me it would, a city jutting unnaturally out of the desert. Exploring 'The Strip' like any good tourist we marveled at the lights, beauty and attraction that is the thin veneer for the grog, gambling and porn. Tonight (Tuesday) Ova and Sugar are at the MGM Grand (la di dah!), Dr Hell and newly joined to the crew King Cam are at Hooters (yes Hooters) and Mel and I are at an old dame of a casino, Tropicana. We still haven't sighted Fair-as and his bro who are also apparently at the Trop...they lurk here somewhere. As we lay our tired heads down to sleep we'll be dreaming of the track, I think now, we are ready to roll at Rollercon.
xx
Bam

The trappings of fame...

It’s Monday night and tomorrow we drive to Vegas for Rollercon. Ova has lost her sunglasses and we have all just finished repacking our obscenely oversized bags ready for the journey and are wondering if Ova’s sunnies are in someone’s bag somewhere...
I think we are all ready to move on, LA has been great and we have crammed an insane amount of activity into the past three days.
As I blogged last night I received an SMS from Fair-as asking us what we were up to…we had planned a trip to MEDIEVAL TIMES which would have been potentially one of the best experiences of my life but my dreams were crushed by the 2 hours travel we were going to have to do either way. ANYWAY, after I SMSed Fair-as that we were in our room there was in instant knock on the door. Giddy as a schoolgirl there was Fair-as and his brother wanting us to go outside and ‘take a look at what we bought today’. Now FA and his bro are keen on a driving holiday here and rather than hire some air-conditioned SUV like us ladies they decided to buy something cheap and then drive it to Texas and back. Well, they haven’t let anyone down with what they found. Check this out but imagine in brown with some mean 70s yellow and red stripes down the sides…oh yeah and it is a little more dinged up then the picture below: http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://gwtec.de/images/1972dodgevan091704.jpg&imgrefurl=http://gwtec.de/index.php%3FcPath%3D1530&usg=__fsLMUm4lPCvTxM4_7zwsoZ4z1qM=&h=356&w=550&sz=70&hl=en&start=15&tbnid=XeEJveITnqEp7M:&tbnh=134&tbnw=207&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddodge%2Bvan%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D680%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C600&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=962&vpy=410&dur=149&hovh=181&hovw=279&tx=122&ty=158&ei=0WZOTLyEBpCosQPL6oTjDw&page=2&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:15&biw=1280&bih=680
It’s a 7 seater and the interior is red velour with a glamorous tiki style centre console. It is rad.

While FA and his bro had searched for a car all day we ladies walked, shopped, walked and shopped on Hollywood Boulevard. There were many sights which provoked an array of emotions – stars on the pavement, the Chinese theatre and a beautiful vista of the HOLLYWOOD sign as well as a little lass we dubbed ‘the fake tan 4 year old’...hrm…

We have eaten like kings since arrival sampling SO much good food and yesterday we found ourselves on Hollywood boulevard in a subtle small ‘buy a slice’ pizza joint. The experience almost defies description, to put it simply – home made pasta sauce and sausage with the obligatory dudes playing chess in the booth across from us.

Today Melicous organized a Hollywood tour – star’s houses, Madame Toussards, the lot. We saw Bel Air, Beverly Hills, the tops of some trees and an American flag that belongs to Tom Cruise…weird. Fame is a funny thing, the guide told us where we could go to and potentially see celebrities. It seems there are so many people here struggling to be famous, you overhear conversations: ‘where you from?...Melbourne? ah you came here for acting’ Desire for more seems to ooze from the pavement. For those at the top of the fame food-chain it works in reverse, they fight this battle for privacy and are annoyed at the media…but why would you live in Beverly Hills or Bel Air? Oh, I know, because you only stay in your $10 million mansion when you are working in LA and you need to be close to work right?...right? Showbiz…hrm…like anything it is with too much ease we can stand outside and judge, but I wonder what would life be like with all of the money in the world but not the freedom to go for a jog (pft...jogging is over-rated, bad example) or walk to the local IGA and grab some milk.

There is no doubt in my mind that LA has plenty of normal stuff too…one day I hope to visit again and see this. For now we are full up with LA star, street and beach experience…now to Vegas and beyond!
Xx
Bam
PS I'll post some photos soon...

Late 90s world...

Listen to: (maybe fast forward the intro) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVr-MyRblA4

How much can a group of lassies from the Bra possibly experience in 48 hours since I last posted…so much…so much…

First though I have to say Ova Bearing is an asset to any travel team, what a map reading dynamo and on top of that all I have to do is point out a boosted up car with a hot paint job and she pisses herself laughing, she is awesome.
SO Saturday we all woke as if we weren’t jet lagged at all. Ready to embrace a sweet sweet Californian day, Venice Beach was first on the agenda. Bearing skates we embarked on an hour of LA bussing to reach the famous coastline. It was all I had imagined and so much more. What Venice presented (and indeed the rest of LA since) is that we are indeed trapped in the late 90s. Everywhere we go we are surrounded by late 90s dance music (at restaurants strangely) and many mid-life crisis masculine stereotypes in late 80s sports cars…top down – yesterday there was one with that Magic song from Ghostbusters cranking, HA!
ANYWAY Venice Beach, we skated the boardwalk, it was sweet, sand covered cement is actually quite difficult to skate but we managed and got sunburnt doing it. There were indeed rollerbladers in bikinis, a sight that would make Ova whisper breathlessly ‘awesome’. Sugar watched us skate from a grassy knoll where we left her with as much soda and pizza slices she could handle…I am forever amazed at her pregnant ability to sniff out and identify any kind of food at 100 yards – silently disappear then reappear loaded with goodies, she is also a good sharer, which is awesome - her mummy taught her well.
As I said, so many stereotypes can be observed but here there are no pretenders, we see the bonifide originators of these stereotypes. The blonde sufer dude who will work for weed, good lookin blinged up black men in pimped cars – windows down, hip hop turned up. I suspect there is nothing like it.
We lost Dr Hell at the Venice Beach freakshow. As the 2nd hour of no Hell approached we began to wonder how we would explain to her mother that the last time we saw her was having a real life python placed around her neck by a tattooed lady in a bikini…. Upon finding her she had many photos of two headed turtles and a 5 legged dog...o...k....

We wondered how to while away a Saturday night in LA and decided Mexican fare was the go. The Lonely planet directed us to the MOST AMAZING Mexican joint just off Santa Monica Boulevard, the pitcher of Magarita went down a treat as we were bathed in yet more 90s dance music - given the ratio of 90% well groomed males to 10% ladies it became apparent we were at a pre-party meeting place for the fellas who like fellas. Safe to say it was rad and we had a rad time. As luck would have it some old friends of Melicious and me live in San Diego and came to say hi. After dinner all 7 of us jumped in their van and decided to get some take aways and go to the Hollywood sign…what a plan!! We were thwarted by a large metal gate and 24 hour video surveillance…it was a fully sick drive nonetheless and we felt like a locals in a van with tinted windows, Ice Cube amped up singing like we had some kinda talent.
What a Saturday.
Xx
Bam
Wait till I tell you what Fair-as got up to today…

This is LA

Ah LA, city of angels…Bangkok also translates as city of angels, interesting considering what these places are a times famous for. In the jet lagged semi-conscious haze of the last few hours post arrival Sugar, Hell, Ova, Melicious and I have paced the pavements of West Hollywood observing the tall, thin tanned angels of LA doing all of the things MTV has taught me they would. Short shorts, cell phones and small dogs are indeed a currency…which makes me wonder, what if Hell had brought Inky…

There will be talk of skating soon…I promise…
xx
Bam

American woman

Listen to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTB4kg4YFMs&feature=related

On the eve of any journey one ponders the important questions:
- is 5 pairs of shoes too many for three weeks?
- how many kgs will this friken bag weigh?
- plastic crochet hooks, crafty treat or deadly weapon?
- Alain de Boton for the plane or the classic of Dorian Grey...
All these things venture in and out of the conscious mind as my Dad tells me about why it is important to keep my seatbelt fastened whenever seated...'people get hurt you know? I saw it on the news today, a flight from LA, storms, turbulance'.
Little does he know I am manic on flights and that conversation just made me a little more anxious...
xx
Bam

Pre-trip hurdles...

Well, it is almost here and I can't believe it. Just one hurdle...playing national champs VRDL on the weekend, fricken EEP!!
Let's show em how we roll CRDL!

Oh...and finishing the PhD thesis...that shouldn't take a minute...

xx
Bam

Testes...

Testing...can you see me, this is my first blog and I had to get it over and done with early.
Stay tuned for West Side adventures.